Monday, November 10, 2008

Fluid and Constant

One thing I've learned about parenthood is this: once you figure something out, another problem arises. You may finally have managed to consistently discipline your child for one issue, and another crops up. You master caring for a newborn just in time for the baby to become a toddler with a whole new set of challenges. Life is never truly routine, it's always changing. It's fluid, not constant.

Kinda like faith. I always have questions. As soon as I explore and come to peace with one issue, another arises. Did You bring life into being in a week, or allow it to evolve over centuries? Why do You allow bad things happen to good people? Why do you allow tragedies? Why do you allow it to rain on the unjust? Why did you create Satan if you knew he'd turn evil? Do the ceremonial laws of the old covenant still apply?

And every allergy season: Why did You create Cedar pollen?
Yet through it all, I am understanding who God is more, and I'm changing. It's a process. It's not routine. It's fluid, not constant.

Lately, I've felt the need to step back and reflect on what I know to be constant. I am on good terms with the Almighty God who created the Heavens and the Earth. Not sure I fully comprehend that, but I know it's true. He is the one who knows if Creation happened in a week or evolved over time. He knows how everything works, from the cellular level all the way to the ecosystems. He is just, good, perfect, always right. He is in control, even when it seems He's not. He sees the fullness of time, everything that happens is not without His knowledge. He can work all things for good. He was there at my birth, He knows the day of my death. He has planned the days of my husband and children. He knows if my sons will know Him. He knows the number of hairs on my head and the desires of my heart, evil and good. He is for me, not against me. He knows all of the sins I have committed and will commit. And He accepts me as His own still because of His Son.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)

Nothing can separate us. This is what I know. It's constant, not fluid. And I'm so thankful, in the midst of watching three little boys grow and change, that there are these constants in my life. And in my questioning, I gain a peace that passes understanding...

What about you? What's fluid? What's constant?

1 comment:

Kathy said...

That's a tough one for me right now..

For me the constant is that nothing can destroy us. The worst possible things can happen and God is there in the midst. Suffering in this world happens I know..I get...I mostly fear the blows that life brings I suppose...

Thank you for your sweet comments on the blog and your prayers. You are precious. (And not morbid;)

Blessings my friend...