Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Over My Head

More and more I am realizing why God called me to motherhood: to humble me greatly. And I'm sure I needed it. I now possess a distinct awareness that I have no idea what I'm doing - I'm truly over my head. Tonight would be a good case-in-point.

Charlie has adopted a habit of terrorizing Chance. Chance has always been a little on the "scared" side, but Charlie thinks it's very entertaining to scare that boy beyond the limits. For months, I have disciplined Charlie repeatedly for scaring Chance to the point of tears and screaming in sheer terror. Finally, tonight as he did it yet again, I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine (if you're thinking "uh oh" you're probably right on...).

It's a scary Charlie!

Remember the scary mask that Big Daddy found in the Guadalupe? The picture above has Charlie wearing it (which he used a few times to scare the Bejesus out of Chance). So, this time, I donned the mask, and crept up the stairs to where Charlie was playing. What I expected was a startled scream, then for him to laugh because he'd know it was me. What I got was screaming, followed by crying and shaking.

I immediately removed the mask, assuring him it was just me, and held him. I cried with him, completely regretting scaring him so bad.

We talked at length about how this is how Chance feels. How it's his job to make Chance feel safe and protected...just like it's my job to make him feel safe and protected. I obviously promised not to scare him again. And he promised not to scare Chance anymore.

But did I do the right thing? I don't think so. I asked Chuck about it, and he said he doesn't know if it was right, but at this point it seemed like nothing else would get thru to Charlie. But if Charlie ends up in therapy someday...he can just forward the bills to me.

How 'bout you? Got anything to confess? It's good for the soul. Although I really wish I wouldn't have done it in the first place...


Mells said...

Hey Angie! I know that I would have done the same thing you did. Probably feeling bad too after scaring my child to tears, but I feel like he/she would really know what it feels like to be scared. I am so glad that you blogged about it, because it helps me on my parenting too! I am so like you, I don't know what I"m doing most of the time. Thank sfor always sharing! BTW, You are a terrific mother who is doing such a wonderful job!!! Never let the enemy make you think otherwise! :) God bless you! 1 Peter 5:7Cast all your cares on him because he cares for you. *This has been a great reminder for me this week! :) Love you so much, Melony

Kristi said...

When I was watching my Neice Makenna we would go somewhere and she would never want to get in or out of the car and in or out of her carseat. So oneday, when Chris was out with me, we told her we were leaving her. She acted really scared as we got out of the car and actually thought that we were leaving her. She cried and cried and everytime since then she would ask before we even turned off the car if she was going with us. In a sweet little voice asking please. LOL. I felt so bad. Especially since when we were alone I would reassure her that I was not leaving but she would start crying by the time it took me to walk to the other side of the car to get her out. We learn from things like these. Don't beat yourself up too much about it. I felt just as bad about it but sometimes we just get so frustrated that we will try anything. We never know what the outcome is really going to be. Your a great mom!

Kathy said...

Ohhh I did the whole 'pretend to leave' thing too. Now my middle child tells everyone that "Mom doesn't leave us anymore." Nice...

I echo what the ladies say...you are GREAT mom! God loves our babes infinitely more than we can imagine and He will perfect His will in our little men...despite our best efforts.:)

Scott said...

I have to echo the comment of coming to you for instructions on what to do :) I would have done the same thing, don't fret. Lesson learned I guarantee it :) Now you got anything for simply not listening to one parent? ;)