I never felt old until I had kids. Still, I know 28 is not old, but I am feeling "older." 2 weeks ago, I found my first gray hair. While it can be easily hidden (so far), I know I have many more to come, and in many ways I'll begin to show the marks of being an adult, and no longer a youth. It's not really traumatic (yet), and as long as Chuck has more than me (he has 2 gray hairs!), then I can handle it. (Love you, Babe!!). But the inevitable cycle of life has become more apparent to me. While I hope that I'm wiser than I was ten years ago, I know I can't relive those last 10 years and I won't get them back. Each day, month, and year is so important because this is my one chance to live this season of my life. And it's weird how, as time goes on, and as I see more people dying, even death becomes more acceptable. Of course, I hope it won't come for another 60+ years for me, but I can accept that my life is moving in that direction now. Losing 3 of my grandparents and an uncle in the last 2 years has helped me see this, I think. And considering how quickly my boys are growing, and how time seems to be flying by now, I know I'll be looking in the mirror tomorrow and realize it's been another 10 years. Funny how we long to "grow up" as kids, wishing the years would go more quickly, but then we get there and wish time would pass slowly, like it did when we were kids. (Does that make sense?)
Anyhow, this weekend I went on a small Women's Retreat with my church and was just amazed by it. There were over 50 women, who were all so loving, and there was no gossip or bitterness, just sweet attitudes. Most of the women were older. I only hope that as I age, I will be like them. There were women there that I just wanted to sit at their feet and learn the lessons their life experiences have taught them. How'd they raise such good kids? How did they keep their marriages strong and healthy? Where did they find their worth? How did they survive the many great trials they went through? Where did they run for comfort and healing? It was an honor to be rubbing shoulders with women who'd lived their lives, and were so honest about their victories and their failures, and cared enough to share it with those of us who were younger. And these women do it on a daily basis at church. They lead Bible studies for younger women, they mentor, they reach out. It was an awesome time of being encouraged and challenged for me. These women were living examples of Titus 2:3-5:
"Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the Word of God."
[This is me, showing off the wildflowers I picked on the roadside this weekend...talk about a retreat!]
I'm so amazed at the birthday gifts I've been given this year. They were all so extravagant: the Wii, the new camera, the weekend with Chuck in Marble Falls. And yet this one seemed like a gift from the Lord Himself, knowing my need to be mentored and discipled. Not only to have wisdom for what lies ahead, but to know women who have walked this road, and to know that I can do it, because they did. He knew better than I did how much this would help!
I can't help but be in awe...
...even if He gave me a gray hair!
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