Saturday, March 10, 2007

Brothers and Friends

Sorry I haven't blogged in awhile.

It's been a very hectic (and disgusting) week with all the stomach bugs. Once Chance and Charlie recovered, Chuck came home from work with it. I kept thinking that my turn was coming, but I dodged it somehow. Either because I washed my hands 20 times a day, or because I was already on antibiotics for something else. Either way, I'm thankful I was passed over. And most of all, I'm thankful it's gone.

Thursday the boys went to Austin to see the grandparents, which was so much fun for them, and allowed me to start chipping away at all I was behind on from the sicknesses. The big thing we did was notarize our wills. If you have small kids, you definitely need to have a current will in place! I know with all the Anna Nicole Smith stuff going on, people are much more aware. For us, we'd thought of it before, but had always put it off, until in December Chuck's uncle passed away suddenly, and didn't have a will. We realized how much harder that is on the family (even if you don't have lots of assets/dependents), so we knew it was time. And thanks to our friends Mitch and Holly, who loaned us their will-writing software, it was free. And the program was really easy to use, and we got them written in an hour. So all that to say, if you haven't done it, do it. Until we had kids I never wanted to think about dying. But now I know it's my obligation for their sakes to have this sort of thing figured out. I just tried to not think about it from an emotional standpoint. Anyhow, the last thing to do was notarize it, so some friends from Chuck's work helped us out by being witnesses, and we got it done (thanks, guys!!). I can sleep a little sounder knowing that's done...

So Chuck and I got a night at home without the boys, and while we really enjoyed it, it was really wierd. Little sounds on tv kept making me think Chance was up in his room crying. I turned the monitor off in my room, but felt odd about it. They truly make this place home, and I don't know what it'll feel like someday without them!! The house just felt so empty. It's a paradox once you become a parent (or at least a mom) that you long for a break from your kids, but when you get it, you don't know what to do with yourself and you miss them terribly! "Can't live with'em, can't live without'em," kinda thing. Anyhow, we got them back Friday and it's been nice to return to normal, and spend time with them.


A few new things: Chance is really throwing full blown fits now. When he can't get his way, he'll arch his back to where I can't hold him anymore, and basically throw himself on the floor...then cries harder because I'm not holding him anymore! LOL. He "screams" when he can't get his way, so finally the other day he got his first time in the bathroom. That's where I have Charlie go when he throws a fit. It's kinda like time out. He has to go in there and cry it out, especially if he's just crying in protest, not pain. So Chance is begininng to be disciplined. Then today he wanted to touch something and when I told him "No," he leaned over and started to bite Charlie. So he got his first real spanking, too.

While they were in Austin, my step-mom was telling me that Chance got mad and bit Charlie's toe. Charlie was crying, and she asked, "What does Mommy do when Chance bites?" He said, "Puts me in the bathroom." LOL! Then she said, "Do you want me to spank Chance?" He cried, "No! Don't spank him." "Do you want me to put him in the bathroom." No, he sobbed, not the bathroom! "How about I knock his teeth out?" (kidding, of course!) Noooo, don't hurt him! Charlie cried. I thought that was so sweet, Big Brother didn't want revenge. I think it gives a glimpse of Charlie's heart, and how much he loves Chance.

And of course Chance isn't all bad! While he has a new challenge, with this biting thing (Charlie never did that), Charlie was harder in that he started arching his back, to where I'd have to wrestle him into his car seat, from 6 months-18 months old! Also, Charlie preferred to take out his frustration by hitting his head on things, from 6 months old! Even now, he'll hit himself when he gets mad about something. It makes no sense to me, and it has been very difficult to break. The boys are just so different. Chance also has a thing for electrical outlets, another thing Charlie wasn't into. And lately Charlie is starting to defy even the grandparent's authority. My dad would always marvel at how Charlie was so well behaved...when I wasn't around! They said he always obeyed (although I figured it was because they were more lenient, as grandparents have the right to be). But this last visit brought Charlie's first spanking by the grandparents! I guess he has to test those limits as well. And I don't have a clue about how to get it across to him that they are to be obeyed, other than to keep reinforcing that if he disobeys he gets consequences, from them and from Mommy and Daddy. Even though I have gained confidence in the value of discipline, I'm still constantly unsure of how to do it as these new challenges arise...

One other little quirk of Chance's... I usually put him in his crib and he cries for a minute or just goes to sleep. Lately, he's been throwing everything "overboard" first: the blankets, pillows, pacifier, etc. It's pretty funny to see him just sleeping on the mattress alone.

Anyhow, the good things: Chance is now pointing at things! Before he didn't seem to know what he was pointing at, but he's got it down now. And we know better what he's trying to say or show to us.

Daredevil Charlie

Charlie has started understanding what it means to say, "I'm sorry." He knows to apologize when he hurts Chance. And lately, even if something happens that isn't his fault, he'll say, "I'm sorry, Mommy, that that happened." It just melts my heart that he empathizes. I've tried to explain to him that he shouldn't feel like something is his fault that isn't, and now I'm pretty sure he's just being sweet.

And the boys play so well together. Usually when I sit Chance in the high chair, Charlie will bring Chance little cars to play with, and will play with him while I fix Chance's meal. It's sooo sweet. And I've begun letting them sleep in the same room. Previously I've had Chance sleep in the pack-n-play in the guest room, but now that he's (usually) sleeping through the night, I've decided it's time to move him into his crib in Charlie's room. This works great as long I get Chance to bed first. But today for naptime I decided to let them go to sleep at the same time...of course that didn't work. They were just laughing at each other the whole time! But we'll get there...someday! :)

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