I'm Smelling Coffee...

You know, being a mother of two really isn't so hard...as long as you can live without sleep! There's something about having kids that makes you realize how important sleep really is, because you're constantly testing the limits of how you can survive without it. As a friend and I were discussing the other day, all-nighters in college were nothing compared to the sleep deprivation of motherhood. At least back then you could crash when the project or finals were over, and sleep for days if needed. I remember sleeping 12-18 hours straight sometimes, after a demanding stretch. But when you have kids, there's no crashing. You have to keep moving on. And the deprivation begins to build.

On top of that, I've talked to a lot of mothers lately who live with insomnia. I never realized what a problem this could be, either, until my second pregnancy. I thought it was because I couldn't get comfortable since I was so big. But even after Chance was born, it reared its ugly head from time to time. It can be so frustrating, when you physically feel like you can't move another muscle and you lay down, close you eyes, and can't fall asleep. You watch the minutes roll by on the clock, and think, "What is wrong with me?!" Recently, I had Chuck take over for the evening and got into bed at 9 PM because I was exhausted and had so much to do the next day. By 2 AM, near tears, I decided I couldn't lay in bed anymore and decided to clean the house. By 5 am I was able to get to sleep...only to get up at 6 with Chance and then again at 7:30 to get ready for my day.

I've searched for possible causes, and cures, and realized that there are so many different reasons for insomnia. It could be emotional, spiritual, hormonal, or in my case, mental/physical. I think I've figured mine out. With my second pregnancy, when I would feel the fatigue, I couldn't go take a nap, as I had with my first pregnancy (I slept all the time with #1!), because Charlie needed my supervision. I had to sleep when I had opportunity, not when I felt sleepy. This continued once Chance was here, and even worsened, because I have to get up all through the night with him. Quality sleep was rarely achieved, because I rarely got to sleep more than 3 hours uninterrupted. About a month ago, Chance finally started sleeping through the night, or at least 7 hours at a time. Then during the day I would nap while the boys napped, figuring a few minutes here and there would have to be helpful. I think I've confused my body, where it doesn't know if there is a schedule, and what it's supposed to do. So, I've cut out the naps, and try to get to sleep at a decent hour at night, and that's worked well for the last 10 days. We'll see if it keeps up.

But cutting out the naps actually means I still get less sleep. Thus I've had the problem of being useless all day. I lack the energy needed to get everything done. I read an article recently about how mothers of young children are more likely to use speed than teenagers... Yeah, I could see why! While that's not a viable answer to my energy deficiency, I've decided that coffee is. As long as I only consume caffeine early in the day, it won't trigger insomnia, so why not?!

It all started with finding a really cool Starbucks coffeepot at Goodwill recently. It is the kind with the thermos-like pot, so your coffee stays warm for 5 hours. I brought it home, realized it was clogged, got it cleaned out, and it works like a charm! Not too bad for $4 versus $80 in the store! Ha! Anyhow, it sat on my counter, tempting me for awhile. This week I finally broke down and bought myself a can of coffee for the first time in my life. Now I see why my grandparents drank it all day! They would give me coffee from the time I was a toddler (well, actually it was a "latte" - half coffee, half milk). As an adult I've tried to steer clear of having coffee in the house, knowing I'd be an addict in a heartbeat. Well, now I've succumbed, willingly, knowing the consequences. My family will be happier for it, and hopefully someday I'll kick the habit. But for now, I'll be enjoying a cup each morning, starting my day off like so many other moms out there... ready to hit the ground running. Motherhood just got easier...